Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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