it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Randomize
