Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Someone signed my nipple.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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