it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
