3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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