Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
