I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
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The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
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The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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