Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We are two peas in an std pod
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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