I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
