how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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