anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
