can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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