He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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