yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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