You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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