Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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