my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
