There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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