it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize