Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
