gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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