i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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