Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize