She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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