we made out on top of his cat.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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