My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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