He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
