Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
