They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
