yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
