Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
