My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
