I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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