so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
