I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
