I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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