Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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