there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
