Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
