had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
