I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
