Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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