dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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