i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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