it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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