i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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