I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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