Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize