She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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