There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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