I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
