somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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