My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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