At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
