God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize