mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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