who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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